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Thursday, April 13, 2006

Celebrities are idiots

Here are some various quotes from the mentally challenged Hollywood elite. Brooke Shields - "Smoking kills. If you're killed, you've lost a very important part of your life." How about this gem from Alicia Silverstone - "I think that the film Clueless was very deep. I think it was deep in the way that it was very light. I think lightness has to come from a very deep place if it's true lightness." Hot is cold, up is down, where the f*ck am I? Celine Dion, paragon of wisdom - "My child was not only carried by me, but by the universe." I guess that's one way not to get stretchmarks. Keanu Reeves - "I'm a meathead. I can't help it, man. You've got smart people and you've got dumb people." I got to give him credit for his self-realization. John Travolta - "I called my son Jett and I wanted to call my daughter Qantas but my wife wouldn't let me." At least he didn't name him L. Ron. Russell Crowe -"I enjoy the company of cattle. I really enjoy knowing them, running my hand over them." Not to know them in the Biblical sense I hope. Hey Bessie, why don't you grab me a beer and get over here so I can slap that ass of yours. P. Diddy - "'I feel safe in white because deep down inside, I'm an angel." But when I'm around whites that's a whole different ball game, get my shizzle nizzle? Martine McCutcheon(I have no idea who she is but she's a genius) - "Some men send me condoms and underpants. I'm not sure what they want." First word, Cuddle that is all. Another one for the OTB Beltway traffic Jam.

2 Comments:

Anonymous said...

Damn... I wish I had said that!

I am ITOR the all knowing. That which I do not know, I do not need to know!

4/17/2006 12:24:55 AM  
Josh said...

i just want a huge, martine

4/20/2006 09:49:19 AM  

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